WHAT DO YOU WANT MOST IN LIFE?

Baked beans and fried eggs for breakfast - “You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.”

You've heard it said that the best things in life aren't things. This
truth is illustrated well by Andrea Jaeger.

At age 14 Andrea won her first professional tennis tournament. At 15,
she was the youngest player ever to be seeded at Wimbledon, a record
she held for 10 years. She won again and again until, at 18 years old,
she reached the finals of Wimbledon. But at age 19, a shoulder injury
brought her career to an end.

Her body was injured, but not her spirit. Andrea Jaeger no longer
serves up aces on the court, but she is serving society. She has
dedicated her time and money to bringing hope and joy to children who
are suffering from cancer or other life-threatening illnesses. She
runs her own organization full time, year-round, unpaid.

"You get very spoiled on the pro tour," she says. "The courtesy cars,
the five-star hotels, all the people clapping because you hit a good
shot. It's easy to forget what's important in life."

She forgets a lot less lately.

Her life is an example of what can happen when one concentrates on
"what's important in life." It has been said that the main cause for
failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you
want at the moment. And if the best things in life are not things,
then what do you want most? What Andrea wants most in life is to help
other people. And I'll wager she is fulfilled and happy because of her
dedication to a purpose bigger than herself.

What if you traded what you want at the moment for what you want
most -- if you remember what is important in life and try to do that?
The life you build would be no less than incredible.

From Lifesupport

Lifesigns Life Quotes

A LOVE THAT CHANGES FOR LIFE

Refurbished parts packing box - “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.”

Just as the delivery van pulled away from the florist, the manager
came running out. There was a cancellation on one of the orders, and
he needed it back.

"Which one?" asked the driver.

"The one that reads 'Darling, I will love you forever.' "

When we "fall in love," who doesn't feel that it will last forever?
But we change. And as we do, our love changes, too.

Do you remember the touching interchange between Tevye and Golde in
the musical "Fiddler on the Roof"?

"Do you love me?" Tevye asked his wife.

"Do I what?" Golde responded.

"Do you love me?"

"Do I love you? With our daughters getting married and this trouble in
the town, you are upset, you are worn out, go inside, go lie down,
maybe its indigestion. "

"Golde, I'm asking you a question. Do you love me?"

"You're a fool."

"I know, but do you love me?"

"For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes, cooked your meals,
cleaned your house, given you children, milked the cow. After
twenty-five years, why speak of love right now? I'm your wife," she
said.

"But do you love me?"

Now Golde becomes reflective. "For twenty-five years I've lived with
him, fought with him, starved with him. Twenty-five years my bed is
his. If that's not love, what is?"

"Then you love me?"

"I suppose I do."

"It's nice to know."

And it IS nice to know, for twenty five years is a long time. Time
enough for things to change. Time enough to quit.

My wife and I were married when we were young. And I have to say, I
don't love her like I used to. I've changed, and so has she. Enough
years will do that. We've been through ups and downs. We grew older.
And my feelings for her grew older, too.

The relationship feels more secure now. I think it is a better love
than years ago – more enduring. More solid. Like the two of us, our
love grew up.

And maybe she could live the rest of her life without saying, "I love
you." I know how she feels. But she says it anyway.

And it's nice to know.

From Lifesupport

Lifesigns Life Quotes

FORGIVING QUICKLY IN LIFE

Inflatable children's playground - “It is the child in man that is the source of his uniqueness and creativeness, and the playground is the optimal milieu for the unfolding of his capacities and talents.”

Whoever said it first got it right: "Life is too short for drama and
petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive
quickly." What a wise and wonderful way to live – but not as easy as
it seems.

Personally, I'm all for lingering kisses, raucous laughter, and true
love. I can't wait. But the idea of forgiving quickly is a tough one.
It certainly belongs on the list; it's just that it doesn't come
easily. How I enjoy my righteous indignation. Forgiving can be like
drinking bitter medicine; I have to force myself to swallow … and even
that in small doses.

In his audio book “Living Faith” (Random House Audio Books, 1996),
U.S. President Jimmy Carter talks about forgiving quickly. He says
that without the knowledge that he can be forgiven, it would be
impossible for him to face his own shortcomings.

He relates that both he and his wife, Rosalynn, are "strong-willed"
persons who find it difficult to admit being at fault.

One day, after a particularly harsh argument, Carter decided that he
would never let another day end with each of them angry with the
other. So he went out to his wood shop and cut a thin piece of walnut,
a little smaller than a bank check. On it, he carved the words, "Each
evening forever this is good for an apology or forgiveness, as you
desire." That evening, he gave the plaque to Rosalynn. He reports
that, so far, he has been able to honor it each time Rosalyn has
presented it to him.

With his plaque, Carter made it possible for them to forgive quickly.
They created a climate where it became safe to admit mistakes and
where it was expected that those mistakes would be forgiven.

I suspect that if we can forgive quickly, we won't have much problem
with all of the kissing, laughing and loving. And we'll probably do
more of it.

From Lifesupport

Lifesigns Life Quotes

HARD WON WISDOM FOR LIFE

Porcelain mugs with Chinese painting - “Common clay must go through the heat and fire of the furnace to become porcelain. But once porcelain , it can never become clay again.”

Theodore Levitt, of the Harvard Business School, said, "Experience
comes from what we have done. Wisdom comes from what we have done
badly." Theodore Levitt sounds like a wise person. I wonder what he's
done badly.

Based on his reasoning, I must be bursting with wisdom. Over the
years, I've racked up an impressive number of things that haven't gone
too well.

But put another way, wisdom is what the school of life gives us with
every poor report card. Wisdom is hard won, and it is often birthed in
the ashes of failure.

One man tells of meeting one of the truly "wise" ones among us on a
flight to Florida. He was preparing his notes for a parent-education
seminar he was to conduct there. Bessie, an older woman sitting next
to him, explained that she was returning home after having spent two
weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten
great-grandchildren .

Then she asked him what he did for a living. The man explained that he
was a psychologist specializing in children. He dreaded telling her
this, as he fully expected her to probe him for free professional
advice during the three-hour flight. But not this wise woman. Instead,
she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "So doctor, if there's
anything you want to know, just ask me."

Bessie's years of parenting and grand-parenting gave her what no
professional degrees could – it gave her hard won wisdom. Much of what
she knew about children could only be learned through experience,
including experiences of failure.

I really don't worry about the things I've done badly. If I paid
attention to what went wrong and why, then even my most spectacular
failures gave something priceless back – they taught valuable lessons.
Sometimes wisdom can't be gotten any other way.

From Lifesupport

Lifesigns Life Quotes

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR LIFE?

Building foundation construction in progress - “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”

"Well, what do you expect?" Has anybody ever asked you that?

Sometimes, my greatest disappointments have come because I expected
something that was simply not realistic.

You may know that Robert Lucas won the 1995 Nobel Memorial Prize in
economics. His ex-wife received half of his $1 million award. Yes, his
EX-wife. As it happened, when they were divorcing in 1988, she had her
lawyer add one tiny clause to the property settlement: "Wife shall
receive 50 percent of any Nobel prize." And her clause had an
expiration date: October 31, 1995. He won the prize on October 10.

One would think that her expectation of him winning a Nobel Prize
might be irrational. How many people do that? It's something like my
winning the Iron Man Marathon by the year 3000. That just won't
happen.

But the difference is that I don't train, and she seemed to be sure
that it was only a matter of time before his outstanding work would be
recognized in such a way. Within seven years, she thought. So it
turned out her expectation was entirely rational. (Ironically, Lucas
was honored for an economic theory he called, "Rational
Expectations. ")

I admittedly know nothing about Lucas' Theory of Rational Expectations
in economics. But I do know something about irrational expectations
among people. And I know that irrational expectations can cause untold
disappointment.

Like the expectation that someone else will make me happy. This is
irrational. Nobody can make me happy. That is my job. If I expect
others to make me happy or to keep me happy, I know I will be
disappointed again and again.

Or the expectation that life should be, for the most part, relatively
easy and problem free. This, too, is irrational. Bad things happen.
Living can be difficult. If I expect things to be easy, if I expect
NOT to have problems, if I expect to avoid pain and heartache, I know
I will be in for serious disappointment. Problems are here to stay.

I don't mean to paint a picture of life as bleak and miserable. It isn't.
In fact, I think it is amazingly wonderful. And all the more wonderful
when I don't expect too much out of it. I expect problems, but I also
expect to find joy. I do not expect others to always please me, but I
do expect to be responsible for my own well-being.

So…what did you expect? I think if you can answer that question well,
you can expect to be much happier.

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