FORGIVING QUICKLY IN LIFE

Macross Frontier VF-25F messiah fighter mode model kit - “Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.”

Whoever said it first got it right: "Life is too short for drama and
petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive
quickly." What a wise and wonderful way to live – but not as easy as
it seems.

Personally, I'm all for lingering kisses, raucous laughter, and true
love. I can't wait. But the idea of forgiving quickly is a tough one.
It certainly belongs on the list; it's just that it doesn't come
easily. How I enjoy my righteous indignation. Forgiving can be like
drinking bitter medicine; I have to force myself to swallow … and even
that in small doses.

In his audio book “Living Faith” (Random House Audio Books, 1996),
U.S. President Jimmy Carter talks about forgiving quickly. He says
that without the knowledge that he can be forgiven, it would be
impossible for him to face his own shortcomings.

He relates that both he and his wife, Rosalynn, are "strong-willed"
persons who find it difficult to admit being at fault.

One day, after a particularly harsh argument, Carter decided that he
would never let another day end with each of them angry with the
other. So he went out to his wood shop and cut a thin piece of walnut,
a little smaller than a bank check. On it, he carved the words, "Each
evening forever this is good for an apology or forgiveness, as you
desire." That evening, he gave the plaque to Rosalynn. He reports
that, so far, he has been able to honor it each time Rosalyn has
presented it to him.

With his plaque, Carter made it possible for them to forgive quickly.
They created a climate where it became safe to admit mistakes and
where it was expected that those mistakes would be forgiven.

I suspect that if we can forgive quickly, we won't have much problem
with all of the kissing, laughing and loving. And we'll probably do
more of it.

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HARD WON WISDOM IN LIFE

Dude! You forgot your box behind you! - “Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies.”

Theodore Levitt, of the Harvard Business School, said, "Experience
comes from what we have done. Wisdom comes from what we have done
badly." Theodore Levitt sounds like a wise person. I wonder what he's
done badly.

Based on his reasoning, I must be bursting with wisdom. Over the
years, I've racked up an impressive number of things that haven't gone
too well.

But put another way, wisdom is what the school of life gives us with
every poor report card. Wisdom is hard won, and it is often birthed in
the ashes of failure.

One man tells of meeting one of the truly "wise" ones among us on a
flight to Florida. He was preparing his notes for a parent-education
seminar he was to conduct there. Bessie, an older woman sitting next
to him, explained that she was returning home after having spent two
weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten
great-grandchildren .

Then she asked him what he did for a living. The man explained that he
was a psychologist specializing in children. He dreaded telling her
this, as he fully expected her to probe him for free professional
advice during the three-hour flight. But not this wise woman. Instead,
she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "So doctor, if there's
anything you want to know, just ask me."

Bessie's years of parenting and grand-parenting gave her what no
professional degrees could – it gave her hard won wisdom. Much of what
she knew about children could only be learned through experience,
including experiences of failure.

I really don't worry about the things I've done badly. If I paid
attention to what went wrong and why, then even my most spectacular
failures gave something priceless back – they taught valuable lessons.
Sometimes wisdom can't be gotten any other way.

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WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR LIFE?

Neatly arranged fresh vegetables for sale - “Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.”

"Well, what do you expect?" Has anybody ever asked you that?

Sometimes, my greatest disappointments have come because I expected
something that was simply not realistic.

You may know that Robert Lucas won the 1995 Nobel Memorial Prize in
economics. His ex-wife received half of his $1 million award. Yes, his
EX-wife. As it happened, when they were divorcing in 1988, she had her
lawyer add one tiny clause to the property settlement: "Wife shall
receive 50 percent of any Nobel prize." And her clause had an
expiration date: October 31, 1995. He won the prize on October 10.

One would think that her expectation of him winning a Nobel Prize
might be irrational. How many people do that? It's something like my
winning the Iron Man Marathon by the year 3000. That just won't
happen.

But the difference is that I don't train, and she seemed to be sure
that it was only a matter of time before his outstanding work would be
recognized in such a way. Within seven years, she thought. So it
turned out her expectation was entirely rational. (Ironically, Lucas
was honored for an economic theory he called, "Rational
Expectations. ")

I admittedly know nothing about Lucas' Theory of Rational Expectations
in economics. But I do know something about irrational expectations
among people. And I know that irrational expectations can cause untold
disappointment.

Like the expectation that someone else will make me happy. This is
irrational. Nobody can make me happy. That is my job. If I expect
others to make me happy or to keep me happy, I know I will be
disappointed again and again.

Or the expectation that life should be, for the most part, relatively
easy and problem free. This, too, is irrational. Bad things happen.
Living can be difficult. If I expect things to be easy, if I expect
NOT to have problems, if I expect to avoid pain and heartache, I know
I will be in for serious disappointment. Problems are here to stay.

I don't mean to paint a picture of life as bleak and miserable. It isn't.
In fact, I think it is amazingly wonderful. And all the more wonderful
when I don't expect too much out of it. I expect problems, but I also
expect to find joy. I do not expect others to always please me, but I
do expect to be responsible for my own well-being.

So…what did you expect? I think if you can answer that question well,
you can expect to be much happier.

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INVESTING IN GOLD FOR LIFE

Recently it has become quite hard to find a stable form of financial investment. With the volatile stock markets and the ever so fluctuating oil prices the general outlook can be rather grim for most investors. Just the other day, my cousin, who majors in Economics and Business Studies, came by and I casually brought up the subject of investment. I asked him about the most stable form of investment that he would recommend and without hesitation he told me to buy gold bullion.

He explained to me that gold has always been one of the more stable form of investment compared to other market commodities. I have never consciously thought about bullion let alone gold bullion before this so it was an eye opener for me. I never actually ventured out to invest my money as I put the bulk of it in fixed deposit accounts. True to the idiom "never put all your eggs in one basket", I decided to buy bullion as my first effort in investment.

COOL HEADS AND WARM HEARTS IN LIFE

Jing Jing the dog acting warm and friendly - “The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.”

If you've ever struggled making the right decision, you may appreciate
this story:

A young man seemed to take an unusually long time to place his order
at the flower shop. When the clerk asked how she could help, he
explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn't decide
whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses -- one for each year of
her life.

The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, "She may be
your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your
50-year-old wife."

The young man bought a dozen roses. He made his decision from both his
head and his heart.

Abraham Lincoln has been considered one of the greatest leaders of all
time. He maintained a cool head, even under personal attack. Though
constantly criticized in public, he rarely answered back. "If I were
to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this
shop might as well be closed for any other business," he said. He
showed courage in the face of unjust criticism. He refused to
retaliate and chose instead to quietly do the very best he could.

And Lincoln was also widely known for his compassion. He made
difficult and tough decisions during America's Civil War, but at the
same time showed great leniency. He pardoned more prisoners than any
U. S. president before or since. And when a general asked Lincoln how
the defeated Confederates should be treated, Lincoln replied, "Let 'em
up easy." He was both cool-headed and warm-hearted.

Too many people get it the other way around. They have hot heads and
cold hearts. They react in the heat of anger or passion. They are cold
and unfeeling. And they invariably make poor decisions.

A cool head asks the hard questions. A cool head thinks it through. A
cool head fairly weighs the options and asks, "What is the logical
thing to do?"

A warm heart empathizes. A warm heart considers feelings and
relationships. A warm heart asks, "What is my spirit telling me to
do?"

Some decisions we make with our heads. Others with our hearts. But I
think it takes both to get it right.

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