TRULY LISTENING

A notable reminder to always be ready to listen.

I believe it was Phyllis Diller who said, "We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

When I recall my grandmother, I often remember the day she did NOT tell me to sit down or to shut up. Instead, she listened to me -- truly listened. And what a difference it made!

I was about eight years old and happened to be casually talking with her. I mentioned that it seemed to me that I could not breathe as well as before. It also seemed to me that many adults operated on an assumption that goes something like this: if there is no blood or smoke, then there's no problem. So I was surprised when she said, quite seriously, "Here, let me see."

I was even more surprised when she bent down and stuck her finger in my nose! That should not have caught me off guard, though, because my grandmother was blind. She "saw" with her hands.

"It doesn't feel right," she said. And a week later the doctor confirmed that I needed surgery and eventually my closed septum was reopened.

Over the years, I've noticed that other people remember their grandmothers fondly by recalling the aroma of home-baked cookies or remembering sitting in her lap while she read stories. I remember the day she stuck her finger in my nose. And I recall it with gratitude!

Bill Cosby has said so accurately, "If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible."

That sounds like a great way to treat children of all ages.