COOL HEADS AND WARM HEARTS

Wheat grass beverage - “People in general are responding to beverage products with health and wellness benefits. The trend is unmistakable and is going to gain traction in the years to come.”

If you've ever struggled making the right decision, you may appreciate this story:

A young man seemed to take an unusually long time to place his order at the flower shop. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn't decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses -- one for each year of her life.

The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, "She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife."

The young man bought a dozen roses.

My wife Bev understands that logic. As part of our anniversary tradition, which usually includes an evening out and sometimes a night away from home, I also buy her a single rose.

I made that decision on wedding anniversary number one. But it wasn't easy. My heart argued for giving her one rose the first anniversary, two roses on the second, and so forth. But my head argued that, in twenty or thirty years, a roomful of roses would not mean as much as something simpler -- not to mention the cost! In the end, my heart and head reached a compromise.

So I buy the one special rose every wedding anniversary and then we treat ourselves to a wonderful and romantic evening away. Over the years, Bev has dried every anniversary rose and saved the petals in a decorative jar.

The roses helped teach me something about making decisions. Any kind of decision. I've discovered that good decisions are made with both my head and my heart. Together, cool heads and warm hearts can solve most any problem.

A cool head asks the hard questions. A cool head thinks it through. A cool head objectively weighs the options.

But a warm heart asks the tender questions. A warm heart considers feelings and relationships. A warm heart asks what feels right.

Making the right decision is often difficult. And it seems we never have enough information when we need to decide. But the best decisions are made from both a cool head and a warm heart. It usually takes both of them to get it right.

From Lifesupport.

ACT TWO

Bougainvillea paper flower - “Each flower is a soul blossoming out to nature”

The date is June 24, 1859. Suddenly, there he is, atop a hill overlooking the plain of Solferino. Napoleon's troops prepare for battle with the Austrians below, and Henri Dunant has a box-seat view from his place on the hill.

Trumpets blare, muskets crack and cannons boom. The two armies crash into each other, as Henri looks on, transfixed. He sees the dust rising. He hears the screams of the injured. He watches bleeding, maimed men take their last breaths as he stares in horror at the scene below.

Henri doesn't mean to be there. He is only on a business trip - to speak to Napoleon III about a financial transaction between the Swiss and the French. But he arrived late and now finds himself in a position to witness first-hand the atrocities of war.

What Henri sees from his hill, however, pales in comparison with what he is soon to witness. Entering a small town shortly after the fierce encounter, Henri now observes the battle's refugees. Every building is filled with the mangled, the injured, the dead. Henri, aching with pity, decides to stay in the village three more days to comfort the young soldiers.

He realizes that his life will never be the same again. Driven by a powerful passion to abolish war, Henri Dunant will eventually lose his successful banking career and all his worldly possessions only to die as a virtual unknown in an obscure poorhouse.

But we remember Henri today because he was the first recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize (in 1901). We also remember him because of the movement he founded - the Red Cross.

Act One of Henri Dunant's life closed June 24, 1859. Act Two opened immediately and played the remainder of his 81 years.

Many people's lives can be divided into Act One and Act Two. The first performance ends when one decides to ultimately follow a new direction or passion. Henri Dunant's old life, driven by financial success, prestige and power, no longer satisfied. A new Henri Dunant emerged in Act Two; one who was motivated by love, compassion and an overriding commitment to abolish the horrors of war.

For some, Act Two may begin with a conversion, or a turning point. Others speak of a defining moment. However it is understood, the "old self" is laid to rest and a new self is born - one governed by principle, spirit and passion.

You may be ready for Act Two. It may be the next scene of a life that counts.

From Lifesupport.

LISTEN WITH YOUR EYES

Traditional headhunter Iban costume - “Imagination continually frustrates tradition; that is its function”

An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles."

"What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked a sarcastic member of the group.

"I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like this: 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!' "

Hearing well is only part of effective communication. But another, and often more important part, is frequently overlooked. It does not concern the ears, however, but the eyes.

According to Leil Lowndes (TALKING THE WINNER'S WAY, Contemporary Books) Boston researchers asked opposite-sex individuals to have a two-minute casual conversation. They tricked half their subjects into maintaining intense eye contact by directing them to count the number of times their partner blinked. They gave the other half of the subjects no special eye-contact directions for the chat.

When questioned afterward, the unsuspecting blinkers reported significantly higher feelings of respect and fondness for their colleagues who, unbeknownst to them, had simply been counting their blinks. One might conclude that, for respect and fondness, count blinks! But the larger message is: good eye contact will dramatically improve your relationships.

Ears are not the only organs essential for great listening. Whether you're talking to a spouse, a colleague, a neighbor, a child or a stranger, eye contact is essential. When eyes are focused away
from distractions and onto the speaker, the message you communicate most clearly is, "I value you."

Today, listen with your eyes -- and "see" what you've been missing!

From Lifesupport.

A MATTER OF CHARACTER

Green forestry - “The richest genius, like the most fertile soil, when uncultivated, shoots up into the rankest weeds”

In his autobiography Days of Grace (Random House Audio, 1993), tennis great Arthur Ashe relates a defining incident that occurred when he was 17 years old. He was playing in a tournament in West Virginia. As was often the case, he was the only contestant of color in the
tournament.

One night, some of the kids trashed a cabin. They absolutely destroyed it and then decided to say that Arthur was responsible. The incident was reported in the newspapers; Arthur denied his involvement, but the boys would not change their story. The worst part for Arthur was worrying about what his father would say and do. He eventually made the dreaded phone call.

As he surmised, his father had already learned of the vandalism. His father's tone was grim. He asked Arthur only one question. "Arthur Junior," he asked, "all I want to know is...were you mixed up in that mess?"

Arthur answered, "No, Daddy, I wasn't." His father never asked about it again. Arthur learned that day why he had always been encouraged to tell the truth. There would come a time when he must be believed, and this was such a time. Because he had already earned his trust and respect, he knew his father believed him. From that day on he was determined, above all else, to live a life of integrity.

Unfortunately, we find notable examples of modern leaders in every field who give low priority to personal integrity. But we do not need saints - we need people like you. People who will be known for their integrity. People who will determine to be their best selves. People who daily earn the trust and respect of others, regardless of their age or station in life. People who insist on the importance of character.

Our world does not need another saint. But it needs you.

From Lifesupport.

THE ONLY ANSWER THAT REALLY MATTERS

Broadcasting tower - “In an age in which the media broadcast countless pieces of foolishness, the educated man is defined not by what he knows, but by what he doesn't know.”

It's said that we begin to cut our wisdom teeth the moment we bite off more than we can chew. But do we ever feel as if we have enough wisdom? That we have arrived; that we are wise?

Jeff Hull writes about his great aunt, called Momma J. At 96, she was the last of her generation. As the family was gathered at her sister's funeral, a cousin remarked to Jeff that they were soon to be moving into the family's oldest generation. Jeff looked at his cousin and said plaintively, "But Mary, I don't feel like I know the answers yet."

After everyone had a good laugh, Mary turned to Momma J. and said, "When does that change, Momma?"

Momma J., from her wheelchair, smiled and said, "I don't know yet, dear."

Upon reflection, Jeff Hull asks this penetrating question: "How often do we let our own story about our limitations stop us from doing what we want to, what we are committed to, in life?" He is asking, "How often do we feel as if we have to know the answers before we can proceed, before we can follow our hearts, or before we can attempt something big?"

I like the wisdom of Sydney Harris. "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time," he says, "It is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

You and I do not have all the answers yet. Truth is, we never will. But if we wait for all the answers, we will never move forward.

For no regrets, the only answer that matters is...take that next step. With courage, follow your heart's desire. The path ahead may be dark and hazy, for we can never see far into the future. But it is always clear enough to take one more step. And it's the way to a full and happy life.

From Lifesupport.