Monday, December 8, 2008

DEADLY ASSUMPTIONS

Restaurant table napkin fold - “We were a silent, hidden thought in the folds of oblivion, and we have become a voice that causes the heavens to tremble.”

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals recently accused George, a local man, of having a drinking problem because she observed his pickup truck outside the town's only bar one morning. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

Why is it that most assumptions are wrong? Yet we too often act as if they are right!

Years ago, a young American at a banquet found himself seated next to the eminent V. K. Wellington Koo, a Chinese diplomat. Completely at a loss as to what to say to someone from such a different culture, this young man ventured, "Likee soupee?"

Mr. Koo smiled and nodded. Later when called upon to speak, Wellington Koo delivered an eloquent talk in exquisite English, sat down while the applause was still resounding, turned to the young man and smiled, "Likee speechee?

His assumption about Mr. Koo was simply not true. Which is not unlike a husband who assumes he knows his wife's opinion on a matter, only to find out she thinks differently. Or a wife who assumes that her husband's silence means he is angry or disinterested, only to learn that he is worried about something else. Or an employee who assumes he knows that his boss is upset with him because she didn't praise his performance on a project, when she was merely preoccupied with another matter.

Assumptions. We all make them. They're usually wrong and they too often get us into trouble.

I like the advice of Eniong Hilario: "Things are better said than assumed." When in doubt, check it out. You think you know what was said? Check it out. You think you know what was meant? Check it out. You may think you know, but check it out.

And when you do, be prepared to be surprised!

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

1 comment:

graceonline said...

So glad to read this at this very moment, when a deeply loved one has made a grave assumption about something I did without checking with me to clarify. Thankfully, we are communicators and will discuss later today. This reminds me to keep all in perspective and to respond with more good humor than anger.

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