THE WAY FAMILIES WIN FOR LIFE

Wedding dinner package promotion display - “A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.”

Winston Churchill said, "We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills." And humorist Bob Orben added, "That sounds a lot like our family vacations." And for some people it sounds a lot like everyday life.

The problem is not whether we who live in families will have squabbles, arguments and fights. My worry is more whether those conflicts will end anytime soon. I don't want home life to become the Hundred Years' War - going on and on with no end in sight while the casualties mount. Conflicts need to have an ending so that the family can get about its real business.

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded yes.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?" Again, the boy nodded yes.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

I believe a family can be like that sports team. A successful family wins as a team. But if its members are intent upon winning their own individual battles with one another, the team loses.

A winning solution is to work out the differences and, when it's over, let it be over. Then they can get back in the game as a team.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

BRINGING HARMONY TO DISCORD FOR LIFE

Groceries shopping at the fresh morning market - “Fresh activity is the only means of overcoming adversity.”

I once talked with a couple about their marriage. They completed personality "testing" and were discussing some differences that had frustrated them both over the years. I summarized some of those differences for them.

"You are sensitive," I said to the husband. He nodded affirmatively. "You try to keep harmony in the relationship. It is important to you that you don't have too much conflict, so you tend to give in often in order to keep the peace." He agreed.

"You like affection and will often reach out and hold your wife's hand for no reason at all." He smiled and nodded.

"And you remember birthdays and special days - these are important to you." He continued to smile and nod.

"And you particularly appreciate it when she says, 'I love you.' In fact, you need her to say that at least once a day."

"EXACTLY!" he exclaimed with a broad smile, looking at his wife.

Then I spoke to her. "And you appreciate his sensitivity, but you tend to be more rational and logical." She smiled and nodded.

"You can be more objective than he can about personal criticism and may sometimes be too blunt with him." They both agreed.

"You like affection, but you don't require it like he does. If you hold hands or not, that is unimportant to you." She continued to nod.

"And you also appreciate the fact that he remembers those special days, but if he were to forget one, that would not upset you. In fact, you have to remember to say, 'I love you' to him, not because you don't love him, but because saying it is just something you don't think about often." She agreed, looking at her husband.

"Saying words like 'I love you' does not mean the same thing to you as it does to him. You know you love him. In fact, you looked into his eyes when you got married and said, 'I love you' and figured that, if you ever change your mind, you'll let him know."

"EXACTLY!" she exclaimed, with a smile.

They told me that the discussion helped them to simply understand one another and to accept themselves. Rather than trying to change the other to get their own needs met, they could more easily appreciate their differences and also appreciate themselves as they are.

They found harmony where there used to be discord.

We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

TIME TO BE QUIET IN LIFE

Waiting at the airport departure hall - “Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.”

Popular author and speaker Ken Blanchard sometimes tells a powerful story about Red, a corporate president who, as a young man, learned an important and life-changing lesson. Red had just graduated from college and was offered an opportunity to interview for a position with a firm in New York City. As the job involved moving his wife and small child from Texas to New York, he wanted to talk the decision over with someone before accepting it, but his father had died and Red did not feel he had anybody to turn to. On impulse, he telephoned an old friend of the family; someone his father had suggested he turn to if he ever needed good advice.

The friend said he would be happy to give Red advice about the job offer under the condition that the young man takes whatever advice he was given. "You might want to think about that for a couple of days before hearing my suggestion," he was told.

Two days later Red called the man back and said he was ready to listen to his counsel. "Go on to New York City and have the interview," the older man said. "But I want you to go up there in a very special way. I want you to go on a train and I want you to get a private compartment. Don't take anything to write with, anything to listen to or anything to read, and don't talk to anybody except to put in your order for dinner with the porter. When you get to New York call me and I will tell you what to do next."

Red followed the advice precisely. The trip took two days. As he had brought along nothing to do and kept entirely to himself, he quickly became bored. It soon dawned on him what was happening. He was being forced into quiet time. He could do nothing but think and meditate. About three hours outside New York City he broke the rules and asked for a pencil and paper. Until the train stopped, he wrote -- the culmination of all his meditation.

Red called the family friend from the train station. "I know what you wanted," he said. "You wanted me to think. And now I know what to do. I don't need anymore help."

"I didn't think you would, Red," came the reply. "Good luck."

Sorry, I don't know if he took the job or not. But Blanchard reports that, years later, Red headed a corporation in California. And he always made it a policy to take a couple of days to be alone. He went where there was no phone, no television, no distractions and no people. He went to be alone; to meditate and to listen.

The French writer and Nobel Prize winner André Gide reminds us to "be faithful to that which exists within yourself." But how can we be faithful when we don't really know what is inside?

The answer for me is to be quiet. To still my mind...and to listen. I'll soon know what to do.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

GOOD FRIENDS ARE GOOD MEDICINE IN LIFE

China mushrooms for sale - “Friendship is like a expensive china. It can be fixed when it is broken, but the crack will remain.”

Our news is constantly filled with the reality of death and dying. And each of us, if we live long enough, experiences the loss of persons we loved.

Children ages eight through ten were asked what they thought about death, and these are some of their answers:

"When you die, God takes care of you like your mother did when you were alive - only God doesn't yell at you all the time." (Beth, 9)

"When you die, they bury you in the ground and your soul goes to heaven, but your body can't go to heaven because it's too crowded up there already." (Jimmy, 8)

"Only the good people go to heaven. The other people go where it's hot all the time like in Florida." (Judy, 9)

"Maybe I'll die someday, but I hope I don't die on my birthday because it's no fun to celebrate your birthday if you're dead." (Jon, 9)

"I'm not afraid to die because I'm a Boy Scout." (Kevin, 10)

"Doctors help you so you won't die until you pay their bills." (Stephanie, 9)

I've observed that the loss of a loved one can be one of the most difficult things we humans can face. And one of our greatest needs as we experience such a loss is for simple, human comfort. I've known friends of sick and dying people to sit by a bedside or in a hospital room for hours, even days, at a time. I've sometimes heard them offer words of prayer. I've seen food in homes of people who are dying overflow from kitchen to dining room - food brought by comforting friends from church and concerned neighbors. And I've observed friends to just listen for as long as it takes. Caring friends are needed medicine in such times.

When U.S. Congressman Sam Rayburn (1882-1961) discovered that he was ill, he announced to the House of Representatives he was going back home to Bonham, Texas for medical tests. Some wondered why he did not stay in Washington D. C. where there were excellent medical facilities -- probably some of the best in the world. His answer was a beautiful tribute to friendship: "Bonham is a place where people know it when you're sick, and where they care when you die."

No one wants to go through difficult times alone. So Rayburn traded the best of medical technology for the closeness of loving friends. He knew that good friends are good medicine. Sometimes the best medicine there is.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

HOOKED ON GIVING FOR LIFE

Colorful flowers for sale - “Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.”

Dr. Mar Aprem of the ancient Chaldean Orthodox Church of the East in India tells a funny story about when a member of the church won a lottery worth 100,000 rupees. His wife went to the bishop and told him that she was afraid to tell this glad news to her husband because he had a heart problem and any sudden excitement could cause a heart attack.

The bishop offered to break the news gently to her husband. He visited the house and asked the man, "Wouldn't it be a good thing if you won 1,000 rupees in the lottery?" The man replied that he still would have to work to support his family.

"What about 10,000 rupees?" the bishop asked. The man still showed no excitement, so the bishop carefully raised the amount to 50,000 and finally to 100,000 rupees.

"If I got 100,000 rupees, I would give half of it to you, your Excellency," the man replied.

The bishop had a heart attack, and the man called an ambulance.

We can get excited about winning and getting. But have you learned how fun it is to give -- and not only money? Engineering and machinery genius R. G. LeTourneau (1888 - 1969) discovered the great joy that can come of generosity. Besides establishing a private school (today's LeTourneau University), that remarkable man reportedly gave 90 percent of his income to worthwhile causes, while living on the remaining 10 percent. He became hooked on giving!

And like I said, money is not the only commodity that is fun to give. We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love or simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us can ever run out of something worthwhile to give.

Giving is fun. And addictive.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

SOLVING MATH PROBLEMS IN LIFE

There are some things in life you just cannot avoid. Solving Math problems is one of them. Things tend to get a bit tricky when you want to look for Math help especially for K-12 and college levels. Essential tutoring like Algebra help and Calculus help can be difficult to find. In addition, their rates can be quite expensive as well.

Back in my college days, I have to admit that I was not very good in some of my subjects of study and I was always looking for Homework help from my peers and fellow students. But sometimes it can be strenuous and difficult when you are always relying on your fellow students that way. They are not always available when you need them and the truth is, it will make you feel bad because you are acting like a freeloader.

How I wish that TutorNext was around then. I would have easily signed up without a second thought and get my much needed Physics help back then. Their rates are one of the cheapest, if not the cheapest around.

BUILDING ON VALUES FOR LIFE

Ice lemon tea refreshing drink on a hot day - “A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water”

"I don't subscribe to the thesis, 'Let the buyer beware,'" said the late writer Isaac Asimov. "I prefer the disregarded one that goes, 'Let the seller be honest.'"

Look at the financial problems of today's world. How many of these problems were the result of inferior products (dubious mortgages, in this case) sold to unaware buyers?

I am convinced that long-range successful businesses, and truly successful lives, are built on values. Two of those values are honesty and integrity.

Over a century ago, clothier John Wanamaker, whose retail business grew into one of the world's first department stores, would have agreed. Wanamaker is sometimes called the father of modern advertising. He instilled the attitude of utmost honesty in his employees.

The story is told of one of his advertising people who was instructed to make a sign promoting neckties that were reduced in price from one dollar apiece to 25 cents. After personally examining the ties, the marketer asked, "Are they any good?"

"No, they're not," he was told.

Wanamaker would have been completely honest, so the ad copy had to reflect the attitude of the store. The necktie advertisement was finally written this way: "They are not as good as they look, but they are good enough at 25 cents." The department sold out of ties almost immediately and was forced to purchase several more weeks' supply of cheap ties to fill the persistent demand (Selling Solutions, Juanita Ruiz, Ed., Oct. 1995).

Wanamaker believed that only a business based on values has real value. And businesses of value are always successful.

Can't it also be said that a life built on values has real value? And when you and I build our lives on honesty and integrity, we will likewise know success.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

WHAT I'VE LEARNED FOR LIFE

Cargo transporter cart at the airport - “The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise”

Here is one brief summary of a life's learnings:

Age 5: I learned that things are easier when someone is holding your hand.

Age 10: I learned to never blow in a cat's ear.

Age 15: I learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.

Age 20: I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.

Age 25: I learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.

Age 30: I learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.

Age 35: I learned that if I want to do something positive for my children, I should work to improve my marriage.

Age 40: I learned that the greater people's sense of guilt, the greater their need to blame others.

Age 45: I learned that I can never allow the disappointments of life to steal my enthusiasm.

Age 50: I learned that I can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Age 55: I learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.

Age 60: I learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

Age 65: I learned that I shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. I need to be able to throw something back.

Age 70: I learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.

Age 75: I learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.

Age 80: I learned that even suffering has its gifts.

Age 85: I learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.

Age 90: I learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

Isn't it true? If we're not learning, we're not improving. If we're not improving, we're not growing. And if we're not growing, we're not living.

Some people worry about dying. I am more concerned with living - as well and as fully as possible.

Learn - improve - grow - live. Learn as if you might live forever and you'll live as if you might die tomorrow.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

GIFTED FOR SOMETHING IN LIFE?

Topiary and bonsai garden signage - “Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.”

I heard of a woman who operated a daycare for children from her home. As she transported children in her car one day, a fire truck zoomed by. The kids were thrilled to see a Dalmatian on the front seat, just like in the old-time stories.

They began a conversation about the duties of a "fire dog." One child suggested that they use the dog to keep the crowds back. Another said the Dalmatian is just for good luck. But young Jamie brought the argument to an end when he said, "They use the dog to find the hydrant!"

He reminds us that we all have useful abilities, if sniffing out fire hydrants is a useful ability. Some of our skills are apparent. Some are hidden. Some probably haven't even been discovered. Some can be improved with work -- lots of mine fall into this category.

Madame Marie Curie, the first woman to win a Nobel Prize (she won two), said this about giftedness: "Life is not easy for any of us, but what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained."

I like that. "We must believe that we are gifted for something." Do you believe you are gifted for something? Do you know what that "something" is?

American football's William Floyd probably thought his athletic ability was his greatest gift. But then he injured his knee halfway through his 1995 season with the San Francisco Forty-Niners. The talented athlete was out for the rest of the season. It was then that he found a gift he may not have known he possessed.

William Floyd still wanted to contribute and he did NOT want his self pity to spill over to the rest of the team. So he stood on the sidelines at every workout and in every game and encouraged his teammates on. He shouted and cajoled; he motivated and consoled; he became a dominating presence and a source of great inspiration for his team. He had a remarkable ability for bringing out the best in others.

At the end of the year, his teammates voted him the player "who best exemplifies inspirational and courageous play." As much as they needed him on the field, they discovered how much they needed him on the sidelines, urging them to do and to be their best. I wonder if his newly-found life skill, his gift of positive motivation, could prove more useful than even his athletic ability?

What if we believed we were "gifted for something"? What difference would that make?

And what if we believed we should do something about it? What difference would that make? What difference COULD that make?

I think a lot of life is about finding that out.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

FACE VALUE IN LIFE

Gundam Wing Plastic model kit - “The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise.”

Ted Engstrom in HIGH PERFORMANCE (Here's Life Publishers, 1988) tells the story of a trusted adviser of President Abraham Lincoln who recommended a candidate for Lincoln's cabinet. Lincoln declined and when asked why, he said, "I don't like the man's face."

"But the poor man is not responsible for his face," his adviser insisted.

"Every man over forty is responsible for his face," Lincoln replied, and the prospect was considered no more.

That makes me want to look into a mirror! It's always been a comfort to me that I am BEHIND my face. I can look at something else.

Lincoln, of course, was referring to the man's expression and disposition rather than his features. And I believe that we do bear some responsibility here.

If our faces convey the thoughts and attitudes nurtured in our minds, then we are responsible for our faces. And we are responsible for how we will "face" each day.

One woman reported that she had just paid for some purchases when she heard the cashier say something. Not understanding, she asked her to repeat it. "I said have a happy day," the cashier snapped. "Are you deaf?" Here is a person who seems to be unaware of how she is facing others.

Earl Nightingale put it like this: "Our attitude is something we can control. We can establish our attitude each morning when we start our day. In fact, we do just that whether we realize it or not."

And that's the point, isn't it? If I realize that I am already choosing my attitudes every day, I can make better choices. If I realize that I am already choosing my face, I can put on different face.

If I face the day with a little more hope and confidence, more generosity and love, I'll be happier for it. And who knows? Maybe a modern day Lincoln will say he likes my face.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

PRECIOUS MOMENTS IN LIFE

Building construction site - “The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum. The most important rules that I ever adopted to help me in achieving my goals were those I learned from a very successful man who taught me to first write down the goal, and then to never leave the site of setting a goal without firs taking some form of positive action toward its attainment.”

I probably golf about as well as a slug wages war.... In fact, out of consideration for my friends (I embarrass them), I quit playing with anybody I know. It was too hard for them to watch. But I can still appreciate what a golf enthusiast said about the game.

He listed three mental techniques to improve one's golf game. And the great part is this: these techniques not only help to improve a game, they can help all of us live better lives. They are mental attitudes that can help you and me live more in the moment and less in the past or the future. Here they are… golf tips for better living.

1. Resist the urge to add up your score as you go along. If you anticipate your score, you'll be distracted from the task at hand.

In other words, live more in the present. Clear your mind of past mistakes and even past successes, and try to think only about the here and now.

2. Focus. Concentrate on hitting great shots rather than worrying about bad ones or what others will think if you miss. Visualize the ball going to your target.

This is a terrific technique for daily living. Focus. Concentrate on doing the present task well rather than worrying about what others will think if you should "mess up." And get a picture in your mind's eye of succeeding at the thing you are doing right now.

3. Keep your mind on the hole you're playing. Don't think about how you are going to play the last hole.

This is about resisting the urge to think ahead. If we pay close attention to the present, the future will take care of itself. Our present moment is full of power and wonder. It deserves our full attention.

Now, did you notice what all of these tips have in common? They are not about understanding the past or setting goals for the future. They are simply about living in the present moment.

Writer H.G. Wells once noted, "Man must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind him to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery." Anybody can get more out of life who concentrates on and cherishes the here and now – and we're not talking about golf.

The present is too important not to pay attention to it. One doctor said, "I have learned from speaking to many cancer survivor groups that (when you have cancer) the watch on your hand no longer says, 'Tick, tick, tick.' It now says, 'Precious, precious, precious.'"

When the present moment is precious, everything else takes care of itself.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

LOVING LIFE AGAIN FOR LIFE

Fresh banana for sale by the road side - “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana”

Dave was struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "Have you got the time?"

Dave sighed, put down the large and cumbersome suitcases and spoke to his wristwatch. "Time please."

"The time is five thirty," came a voice somewhere in the timepiece.

"Wow! What a watch!" exclaimed the stranger.

Dave brightened a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out. The time in Japanese, please." The watch responded in Japanese. Then Dave asked for German and Swahili and a realistic voice gave the time in those languages. And then, "What time is it in London," Dave asked, "with a British accent?" The device gave it to him.

The stranger was incredulous. "Watch this," said Dave. "Home monitor," he said to the wrist-watch. Immediately a 3-dimensional hologram projected in the space between the two men that perfectly displayed his living room. He could even see a half inch of coffee in the bottom of a cup he'd left on the table earlier in the day.

"Unbelievable! " said the stranger.

Then Dave spoke to the device. "Leave a voice message for Sharon that the bus is late and send flowers to my sister for her birthday. And give me the 5 O'clock news."

"Done, done and done," the voice confirmed. Suddenly a high-resolution hologram screen appeared in front of Dave. The two men felt as if they were sitting in the television studio watching the newscast.

The stranger was struck dumb with admiration. The display was of unbelievably high quality and the voice was simply astounding.

"Now, look at this -- `wedding photos'" Dave said the timepiece. Photos of his recent wedding appeared in front of them as if they were floating on air. "And play Bach," he said, and music filled the space as the wedding album scrolled.

"This timepiece is a super powerful voice-activated computer. In addition, it is in contact with most of the world's major satellites. And it is also a two-way radio that reaches halfway around the globe."

"I want to buy that watch!" said the stranger.

"Oh no, it's not ready for sale yet; I'm still working out the bugs," said Dave.

"I've got to have that watch!" said the stranger.

"No, you don't understand; it's not ready…."

"I'll give you $10,000 for it!" interrupted the stranger.

"Oh, no, I've already spent more than…."

"Then make it $20,000!" the stranger blurted. "Or just name your price."

"But it's just that…."

The stranger pulled out a fat wallet. "All right -- $50,000. I'll give you the cash now."

Dave blinked. He could always make another device and $50,000 would give him a nice profit.

The stranger thrust the money at Dave. "Here, take it! I have to catch my bus."

Dave made his decision. "Okay," he said, and took off the timepiece.

The stranger smiled and hurried away. "Hey, wait a minute!" called Dave.

The man turned back warily. Dave pointed to the two suitcases he'd been trying to wrestle through the bus station and said, "Don't forget your batteries."

I think life is like that for some people. What should be wonderful and exciting is complicated and burdensome. It is as if they are dragging heavy baggage wherever they go. They feel tied down (to a job? to a lifestyle? to a relationship? ) and long for simpler times.

Many people wish their lives were less complicated. They remember a carefree time and dream of returning to a simpler day. They yearn for more freedom. Less worry and more laughter. If only they could trade some of today's complexity for yesterday's simplicity.

American essayist and novelist Charles Dudley Warner said, "Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough."

Rudyard Kipling yearned for less when he said, "Teach us to delight in simple things."

Author Augustus Hare observed that "the greatest truths are the simplest -- and so are the greatest men."

Maybe it's time to make a decision for greatness; a decision for simplicity. Maybe it's time to let go of that which weighs you down and walk with a lighter step. Maybe it's time to love life again.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

HOME GARDENING FOR LIFE

Just the other day my cousin was telling me about taking a day off to replant his Stevia herbs. He is the kind of guy who is into growing medicinal herbs to be used as remedies of sorts. He is the sole reason I started taking a comb of fresh Moringa oleifera leaves every morning as nourishment. His regular gardening method is by using outdoor planters and arranging them in a pleasant and accessible manner. Noticing the fact that he only uses one kind of outddor planter, I asked him about the reason behind it.

He told me that was the only kind he could find to be usable. In my reply, I recommended him to consider indoor gardening by using indoor planters. He was warming up to my recommendation and started looking for an indoor planter to test it out. I came across eplanters and told him about it. Nowadays my cousin frequents eplanters to look for outdoor planters and indoor planters that fit in his home gardening plans.

THE EASIEST WAY TO LEARN FOR LIFE

Bird of paradise horn bill batik painting - “Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise.”

A true story points to a universal truth about human beings: we learn best by watching how others behave.

President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to dine with him at the White House. Unsure of their table manners, the guests decided to imitate the presi­dent. They watched closely to see which utensils he used, what foods he ate and when.

Their strategy seemed to succeed until coffee was served. Coolidge poured some coffee into his saucer. They did the same. He added sugar and cream. His guests did, too. Then the president bent over and put his saucer on the floor for the cat!

Like Coolidge's hometown guests, we, too, seem to learn best by imitation. Kids learn by ob­serving parents when they are young, and by copying their peers as they grow older. In fact, parents should probably be less concerned about whether their children are paying attention to them and more worried about the fact that their kids are ALWAYS watching.

They tell us that adults learn in much the same way. If you're struggling with your computer or want to learn to drive a car, you will be more successful if you have someone show you how to do it. You can always read the operator's manual and try to figure everything out yourself, but you will learn best by watching others and asking questions.

What if you want to become more self confident, to organize your life, to be a better parent or to get along better with others? Again, we're told that the best way to learn these skills and attitudes is to find somebody who already is confident, or who is an effective parent or who has healthy attitudes and then mimic the traits you want to adopt. It is the easiest and quickest way to shape your life.

Just about ANY personality trait or skill can be learned: simply find it in someone you know and copy it. Then watch what happens.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

HOW'S YOUR VISION IN LIFE?

Nutritious food on the table - “Experience is food for the brain.”

One woman laughs about the time she took her 14-year-old daughter and her daughter's best friend to a Peter, Paul and Mary concert. They were all fans of "oldies" music from the 60's and 70's and felt lucky to get front row seats. When they returned home, her daughter said, "During the show, we looked back and saw hundreds of little lights swaying to the music. At first we thought the people were holding up cigarette lighters. Then we realized that the lights were the reflections off all the eyeglasses in the audience." (Thanks to "Reader's Digest")

My eyesight isn't what it used to be, either. But as Helen Keller (who could neither hear nor see) said, "The greatest tragedy in life is people who have sight but no vision." Maybe I should be more concerned with my vision than with my eyesight.

There are numerous stories of people who lacked vision. A Hollywood producer scrawled a curt rejection note on a manuscript that became "Gone With The Wind." He had no vision for the success that movie would enjoy.

Orville and Wilbur Wright felt excited. On December 17, 1903, they had finally succeeded in keeping their homemade airplane in the air for 59 seconds. Immediately, they rushed a telegram to their sister in Dayton, Ohio, telling of this great accomplishment. The telegram read, "First sustained flight today fifty-nine seconds. Hope to be home by Christmas."

Upon receiving the news of the successful flight, their sister was so excited that she rushed to the newspaper office and gave the telegram to the editor. The next morning the newspaper headed the story: "Popular Local Bicycle Merchants To Be Home For Holidays." The hapless editor saw what was obvious, but missed the real story.

Vision is never about seeing the obvious. It's about looking ahead; about seeing what is not there -- YET. It's often about seeing the potential behind the obvious.

Like the potential in people. Spotting the potential for success in a student who, as is obvious to everyone else, will likely fail.

Or recognizing the potential for something good to come from a situation others are writing off as lost.

If we want to see what is really going on, we will need to learn to spot what is not there, then act on it.

So... your eyesight may be perfect, but how's your vision?

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

WE NEED EACH OTHER

Precious Chinese ceramic plates - “You can't hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can't catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can't reach your goals if you don't try.”

Many living things need each other to survive. I have lived for most of my life near trees known as Colorado aspens. If you are familiar with this tree, you may have noticed that it does not grow alone. Aspens are found in clusters, or groves. We're told that the reason for this is because aspens can multiply from the roots. They send up lots of new shoots every year. These become saplings that grow quickly and make new baby aspens of their own. In some groves, all of the trees may actually be connected by their roots. It is as if they are one tree.

Another tree, the giant California redwood, may tower 300 feet into the sky. We've seen pictures of tunnels carved into massive trunks wide enough to drive an automobile through. It seems they would require the deepest of roots to anchor them against strong winds. But instead their roots are actually shallow -- they spread out wide in search of surface water. And they reach in all directions, intertwining with roots of other redwoods. Locked together in this way, all the trees support each other in wind and storms.

Aspens and redwoods never stand alone. They need one another to survive.

People, too, are connected by a system of roots. We grow up in families that nurture and guide us. We learn early to make friends who support us in different ways. We are not meant to survive long without others. And like the giant redwoods, we do best when we hold onto one another and help each other to keep standing through life's storms. We need others to hold us up, encourage us and to stand with us.

When I'm not doing well, it is often because I am going it alone. I don't always let others in. I forget to ask for help; I keep my problems to myself. And though I may not see it, others around me might be doing the same thing.

It helps to remember how much like those trees we really are. It might be time to let someone else help hold you up for awhile. Or perhaps someone needs to hang on to you.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

SURPRISED BY JOY FOR LIFE

Plastic decorative fruits for sale - “Everyone who enjoys thinks that the principal thing to the tree is the fruit, but in point of fact the principal thing to it is the seed. -- Herein lies the difference between them that create and them that enjoy.”

Sometimes fact is more mysterious than fiction. I clipped a newspaper article several years ago which tells a story that is strange... and beautiful.

Stan heard in church about a Denver, Colorado (USA) family facing a rather bleak Christmas holiday. Medical bills robbed them of any extras; they would not even have a tree. Stan's pastor asked him if he would get them that tree.

So Stan and his son Jay headed up into the Colorado Rockies in the family pickup. However, the truck skidded off the icy road and hit a boulder that shattered the windshield. Jay was showered by glass slivers and suffered from shock and crash trauma. Stan was uninjured, though somewhat shaken.

Cars sped past that day -- maybe 200 of them. Only two stopped to help. A gentle, dark-haired woman took the boy into her car to comfort him while her husband and another man helped Stan move his truck off the road. Then this kind couple drove father and son to Stan's home and quietly left without identifying themselves.

Stan was discouraged that he was unable to cut a tree for the family that his church was trying to help. But later in the month, the pastor asked if Stan might deliver a food basket to the same unfortunate family. He found the house, but he could hardly find his speech when the door opened. For standing there before him was the same couple who had stopped to help him on the mountain road when so many others had passed him by.

There is a strange power in love. Some folks may call it an amazing coincidence. Others might say it was divine providence. But I choose to think that love has its own power, and that sometimes these kinds of mysteries are better left unanalyzed. Let them remain mysteries. And enjoy the wonder of it all. For whenever we choose to be kind, we just might be surprised by joy.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes