WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FOR LIFE?

Neatly arranged fresh vegetables for sale - “Things are as they are. Looking out into it the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.”

"Well, what do you expect?" Has anybody ever asked you that?

Sometimes, my greatest disappointments have come because I expected
something that was simply not realistic.

You may know that Robert Lucas won the 1995 Nobel Memorial Prize in
economics. His ex-wife received half of his $1 million award. Yes, his
EX-wife. As it happened, when they were divorcing in 1988, she had her
lawyer add one tiny clause to the property settlement: "Wife shall
receive 50 percent of any Nobel prize." And her clause had an
expiration date: October 31, 1995. He won the prize on October 10.

One would think that her expectation of him winning a Nobel Prize
might be irrational. How many people do that? It's something like my
winning the Iron Man Marathon by the year 3000. That just won't
happen.

But the difference is that I don't train, and she seemed to be sure
that it was only a matter of time before his outstanding work would be
recognized in such a way. Within seven years, she thought. So it
turned out her expectation was entirely rational. (Ironically, Lucas
was honored for an economic theory he called, "Rational
Expectations. ")

I admittedly know nothing about Lucas' Theory of Rational Expectations
in economics. But I do know something about irrational expectations
among people. And I know that irrational expectations can cause untold
disappointment.

Like the expectation that someone else will make me happy. This is
irrational. Nobody can make me happy. That is my job. If I expect
others to make me happy or to keep me happy, I know I will be
disappointed again and again.

Or the expectation that life should be, for the most part, relatively
easy and problem free. This, too, is irrational. Bad things happen.
Living can be difficult. If I expect things to be easy, if I expect
NOT to have problems, if I expect to avoid pain and heartache, I know
I will be in for serious disappointment. Problems are here to stay.

I don't mean to paint a picture of life as bleak and miserable. It isn't.
In fact, I think it is amazingly wonderful. And all the more wonderful
when I don't expect too much out of it. I expect problems, but I also
expect to find joy. I do not expect others to always please me, but I
do expect to be responsible for my own well-being.

So…what did you expect? I think if you can answer that question well,
you can expect to be much happier.

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