WHEN SUFFERING VISITS IN LIFE

Gardening hoses for sale - “I think this is what hooks one to gardening: it is the closest one can come to being present at creation.”

I recall sitting with a woman a few years ago whose only son had unexpectedly died. I had sat in the same place a couple of years before when her husband had passed away. Of course, the loss of her son was opening the wound, not yet fully healed, caused by her husband's death.

With tear-filled eyes and pursed lips she lamented, "Oh, how terrible life can be! Isn't this world a terrible place?"

What could I say? On the one hand, I be­lieve that the world can be a wonderful and en­chant­ing place. There are times of fun and joy and happiness. I even believe life can be an exciting ad­venture!

On the other hand, for her right then, the world was indeed a terrible place. All of her family was gone. She faced the prospect of countless days filled with heartache and endless nights of loneli­ness. Such grief cannot be dismissed with a quick, "Oh, it will be all right. You'll be fine." Or, "Don't worry, he's in a better place." Regardless of whether these statements are true, to minimize her feelings of loss at that moment would have done her a great disservice. More than anything, she needed some­one to understand her pain and confusion.

"It's a difficult world to live in," I finally said, taking her hand. "I'm sorry."

She eventually did get through both losses. It was difficult and took time, but with help from her friends and hope from her faith she was able put her life back together. She was able to laugh and sing again.

When the world seems like a terrible place, I think it is good to remember a few things:

* Please don't blame yourself for something that may not be your fault. The death of a family member is a good example. There are some things which are beyond your control.

* Remember that you will get through it, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. One widowed woman remarked to me six months after her spouse's death, "I used to have more bad days than good days. Now I have more good days!" She was moving through her loss.

* Remember that you are not isolated. Please reach out to others when you hurt. And draw upon your spiritual resources. You are not alone.

This world can be fun and challenging, filled with laughter and happiness! But when suffer­ing visits, remembering these things can help ease the hurt.

From Lifesupport.

Lifesigns Life Quotes

VICTIMS AND FIGHTERS FOR LIFE

Steamed fish Chinese style - “No steam or gas ever drives anything until it is confined. No Niagara is ever turned into light and power until it is tunneled. No life ever grows until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.”

Gretchen Alexander is sightless. But she refuses to allow her blindness to limit her life activities. She enjoys archery, golf, softball, sailing and water-skiing, as well as a number of other activities that those of us who are sighted have yet to learn.

She also speaks to groups about living life fully. When speaking to a group of high school students, she was once asked if there was anything she wouldn't try.

"I've decided to never sky-dive," she answered. "It would scare the heck out of my dog."

Why do some people rise above their problems and live life fully, while others become defeated? Merle Shain explains it this way: "There are only two ways to approach life, as a victim or as a gallant fighter. And you must decide if you want to act or to react...."

When discouraged, a victim reacts, perhaps in pain or self-pity. But a fighter acts. A fighter makes a decision to change that set of circumstances that left her or him discouraged. Or a fighter decides to accept those circumstances with grace and move ahead anyway. A fighter decides to act with courage. A fighter takes responsibility for his or her happiness. No matter how afraid, a fighter refuses to give in to the most defeating of all human emotions – helplessness.

A victim reacts. A fighter acts. It's your decision. It's a decision about whether you will live your life fully and with courage or whether you will be forever defeated by harsh circumstances. Make it well, for it may be one of the most important decisions you ever make.

Will you be a victim or a gallant fighter?

From Lifesupport.

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STOOP AND DRINK IN LIFE

Sky bridge walk way to the plane - “The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn”

Albert Einstein once arrived in London carrying his violin. After greeting him, an old friend asked, "You still play the violin, Albert?"

The mathematical genius nodded and said, "Yes, but not very well. My teacher says, 'The trouble with you, Mr. Einstein, is that you can't count.'"

He knew that he had much to learn if he were to play the violin well. So he approached his endeavor with a sense of humility, even to the point of laughing at his poor rhythm.

I heard of a hotel that has a water fountain in the lobby that is operated by an infra-red beam of light. When a thirsty person wants a drink, she simply bends down and the water automatically turns on. There is a sign above the water cooler that reads, "Stoop and drink."

What a marvelous parable for a life attitude. Stoop and drink. Especially when drinking from the fountain of knowledge -- stoop and drink. Like Albert Einstein, wise people know that they can only learn something new AFTER they realize two important points: 1) They do not yet know it all, and 2) There are others willing to teach. It is an attitude of humility...we stoop in order to drink.

One man says, "Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it." He is not always the teacher. He figuratively stoops before his employees by listening carefully to their ideas so he might drink from their knowledge.

Everyone we will ever meet knows something better than us -- our children and our parents; the woman who drives the bus and the receptionist who answers the telephone; the man who sweeps the floor and our neighbor next door. Those who realize that all the world has something to teach will never run short of opportunities to stoop and drink. And they will always be refreshed.

From Lifesupport.

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A POWERFUL LESSON ON FORGIVENESS FOR LIFE

Peanut the cat in captivity - “If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.”

My father taught me a powerful lesson on forgiveness.

His own father was a mining engineer and his family lived in the Philippines prior to World War II. They were captured by the Japanese and incarcerated there during World War II. He, his mother and sisters were sent to a prison camp at the University of Santo Tomas in Manila where they remained until the Philippine Islands were freed at the end of the war. His father, an enlisted man, was separated from the family and imprisoned with captured military personnel.

My dad was a teenager at the time. He, like other prisoners, struggled to survive. To keep from starving, he learned to eat his small, daily rations of rice without first removing the carcasses of worms in the bowl. But he ate better than most prisoners - he worked as an orderly in the prison hospital and, on occasion, was able to finish leftover food from patients. Though almost six feet tall, when he was finally freed he weighed only 95 pounds.

Life was difficult there by any standards. Numerous prisoners became ill and many died. Anger and bitterness toward their captors abounded. For years, even decades, after their eventual release from the prison camp, the men and women of Santo Tomas (like other prisoners of war) felt a smoldering bitterness toward the people who incarcerated them.

My father lost almost everything. His family lost their home. They lost their possessions. And harder still, they lost their freedom. But he also lost his father. My grandfather did not survive his captivity.

Yet I never heard my dad express any anger or resentment toward the Japanese soldiers or the Japanese people. Just the opposite. He taught me to regard ALL people with respect. He taught me to honor people of all races, nationalities and religions. He knew that bitterness only kept his wounds open and infected. Like a disease, his festering resentments could even infect others. And they could kill.

Alexander Pope has said, "To err is human; to forgive, divine." But that is not accurate. It's better said, "To err is human, but to forgive is human, too." Forgiveness is not an option for human beings. Forgiveness is essential for our health as individuals and necessary if we are to live together. To err is human, but to forgive is human, too. Perhaps to be perfect is divine. But to forgive is one of the most human things we can do.

And its never too soon to do something so very human.

From Lifesupport.

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DO WHAT YOU LOVE FOR LIFE

Colorful ceramic plate designs - “Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.”

In his book "Asimov Laughs Again" (New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 1993), author Isaac Asimov relates an incident when he was interviewed by television journalist Barbara Wal­ters.

She asked him how many books he had written and then asked, "Don't you ever want to do anything but write?"

He said, "No."

She pressed on. "Don't you want to go hunting? Fishing? Dancing? Hiking?"

This time he answered, "No! No! No! And no!"

She continued, "But what would you do if the doctor gave you only six months to live?"

He said, "Type faster."

Isaac Asimov spent his life doing what he loved. It was comedian George Burns who once said, "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at some­thing you hate."

Easily said, but leaving the safety of what is known and venturing into the unknown can be one of the scariest decisions we can make. And also one of the most fulfilling.

If you no longer find satisfaction in what you do, is it time to leave the familiar behind and follow your heart?

From Lifesupport.

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