SECRETS OF STAYING IN LOVE FOR LIFE

Man dangerously walking on the side roof - “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”

The results are in. I have learned that, after careful consideration
and endless debate, The Perfect Man has finally been named: "Mr.
Potato Head." Let me tell you why. He's tan. He's cute. He knows the
importance of accessorizing. And if he looks at another girl, you
can rearrange his face.

I don't know if Mr. or Ms. Potato Head is right for you. But I'm not
a big believer in the idea that we MUST find a perfect match,
anyway. There are plenty of happy people who are not paired with
someone else. And there are also plenty who may not say they found
Mr. or Ms. Right, but are living quite happily with Mr. Almost Right
or Ms. Close Enough.

Marriage and long-term commitments may not be for everyone, but if
you plan to be with someone a long time, can you stay in love? Does
a lifetime relationship have to seem more like a life sentence? I
think we're tempted to believe that real love is a myth, a long-term
relationship is a marathon and romance is for kids. Are there
secrets to staying in love? Over the long haul?

I believe in love and romance, and I know it can last a lifetime. I
also believe there are a few simple things we can do to help our
love grow over the years.

For one thing, find time to date. I don't mean time to rehash the
stuff you talk about all week long. Get away and talk about things
that matter. Use this as time to focus on one another, not to solve
problems or to raise issues. There are other times to bring up
difficult subjects.

Next, understand what delights the other and make it happen. "The
romance is over," says Marlys Huffman, "when you see a rosebush and
start looking for aphids instead of picking a bouquet." What makes
him laugh? What brings her pleasure? And what can you do today to
delight each other?

Also, remember why you got together in the first place. When you
focus first on his faults you're not thinking about his strengths.
When you're busy pointing out her imperfections, you're not enjoying
those qualities that attracted you to her initially. Choose to
appreciate that which first drew you together and remember it often.

And always - plan enough time for fun. And don't always plan times
for fun -- be spontaneous. Laugh. Go places. Play.

A woman from Charleston, South Carolina was overheard to remark that
it was her 53rd wedding anniversary. When asked if she planned a
special celebration, she smiled and said softly, "When you have a
nice man, it really doesn't matter." I suspect they learned the
secrets of staying in love.

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CHANGING WITH THE CHANGES FOR LIFE

Feet reflexology floor tiles for sale - “Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.”

A clerk at a Philadelphia airline counter picked up the telephone
and heard the caller ask, "How long does it take to go from
Philadelphia to Phoenix?"

She was busy with another customer just then and intended to put the
caller on hold.

"Just a minute," she replied.

As she was about to press the hold button, the caller said, "Thank
you," and hung up.

We live in an age when it seems almost anything is possible. But a
trip of a couple thousand miles in a few minutes?

Our time is one of unprecedented change. I understand that 2005 was
the first year that there were more spam e-mails sent than cans of
Spam sold. And if you wonder what a can of Spam is, then you see how
much things have changed.

In a restaurant, a mother noticed her eleven-year-old daughter
staring at a movie poster on the wall. The picture portrayed
Superman standing in a phone booth. The girl's mother whispered to
her husband, "Doesn't she know who Superman is?"

He told her it was worse than that. "She doesn't know what a phone
booth is."

I heard someone mention that he believes most of the changes that
will ever take place already have occurred. I am sure that isn't so.
Our new reality is one of constant and unending change.

Some changes can be good and some we may feel are not for the best.
Most change is uncomfortable and awkward at first. But, of course,
if we don't occasionally feel awkward with what we're doing, maybe
we are not doing anything new. And unless we'd rather live in the
past, we'll be happiest learning to embrace this world of change and
to change and adapt along with it.

The world can still be a wonderful and exciting place to live. Do
you believe that? If so, change with the changes. Resist your
resistance to changing. Your attitude toward change is one of the
most important measures of determining whether you can be happy.

From Lifesupport

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LEANING YOUR LADDER AGAINST THE RIGHT BUILDING FOR LIFE

Pirate buccaneers mugs on sale - “There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island.”

Rabbi Harold Kushner tells a wonderful story about a bright young
man who was a sophomore Stanford pre-med student. To reward him for
having done so well in school, his parents gave him a trip to the
Asia for the summer.

While there he met a guru who said to him, "Don't you see how you
are poisoning your soul with this success-oriented way of life? Your
idea of happiness is to stay up all night studying for an exam so
you can get a better grade than your best friend. Your idea of a
good marriage is not to find the woman who will make you whole, but
to win the girl that everyone else wants.

"That's not how people are supposed to live," the sage admonished.
"Give it up; come join us in an atmosphere where we all share and
love each other."

The young man had completed four years at a competitive high school
to get into Stanford, plus two years of pre-med courses at the
university. He was ripe for this sort of approach. He called his
parents from Tokyo and told them he would not be coming home. He was
dropping out of school to live in an ashram (a spiritual retreat).

Six months later, his parents got this letter from him:

"Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you weren't happy with the decision I made last summer, but I
want to tell you how happy it has made me. For the first time in my
life, I am at peace. Here there is no competing, no hustling, no
trying to get ahead of anyone else. Here we are all equal and we all
share. This way of life is so much in harmony with the inner essence
of my soul that in only six months I've become the number two
disciple in the entire ashram, and I think I can be number one by
June!"

You can take the boy out of the rat race, but can you take the rat
race out of the boy?

I am concerned about some people's narrow and dangerous ideas about
success. Achieving more, getting more, becoming number one. Not that
there is anything wrong with healthy achievement. It's just that
there is a difference between earning well and living well.

A successful life is not always a high-achieving life. Sometimes it
is about accomplishing a worthwhile goal, even a private, personal
victory. Sometimes it is about improving one's character. Sometimes
success is best defined by living into one's own personal mission,
or finding a meaningful purpose to organize one's life around. And
sometimes it is about learning how to live in peace, happiness,
generosity and love.

Someone put it like this: "I spent my life frantically climbing the
ladder of success. When I got to the top I realized it was leaning
against the wrong building." Even if she got to the top first, it
made no difference. There is no merit in being first to arrive at
the wrong place in life.

You CAN BE successful in ways that matter. And your life can be
truly meaningful. If you're leaning your ladder against the right
building, it doesn't even matter if you make it to the top. Any life
spent going after things that count, will count as a life well
spent.

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PAYING ATTENTION TO HABITS IN LIFE

Antique china wares on display - “Friendship is like a expensive china. It can be fixed when it is broken, but the crack will remain.”

There was a fire one night at a convent and several nuns who lived
on the fourth floor were trapped. They were praying for divine
providence to show them a way out of the fire when one of the
sisters screamed, "We need to take off our robes, tie them together,
and climb down to safety."

Later as they were recounting the event to reporters, they were
asked if they were afraid that the crude rope might not hold up.
"Oh, no," they said, "Old habits are hard to break."

Do you know the story of the touchstone? It tells of a fortunate man
who was told that, if he should find the "touchstone," its magical
powers could give him anything he wanted. It could be found, he was
informed, among the pebbles of a certain beach. All he need do is
pick up a stone - if it feels warm to the touch, unlike the other
pebbles, he has found the magical touchstone.

The man went immediately to the beach and began picking up stones.
When he grasped a pebble that felt cold, he threw it into the sea.
This practice he continued hour after hour, day after day, week
after week. Each pebble felt cold. Each pebble was immediately
tossed into the sea.

But then, late one morning, he happened to take hold of a pebble
that felt warm, unlike the other stones. The man, whose
consciousness had barely registered the difference, tossed it into
the sea. He hadn't meant to, but he had formed a habit, and habits
can be hard to break.

Most of my habits are more like routines. I habitually arise about
the same time every day - too early, it seems. I exercise. I fix
oatmeal for breakfast. Most days I listen to the same kinds of music
and even read the same kinds of literature. (I hope I don't repeat
the same old stories.) My routines include those places I like to
visit and the people I like to see. It's all fairly predictable. But
what I call routine is more like a series of habits, some of which
work well for me and some I should perhaps look at a bit more
closely.

In fact, any behavior that I repeat, I reinforce. If I repeat it
often enough, it becomes habit. Soon I don't even think about it -
old habits are hard to break. Even good ones.

A Spanish proverb says: "Habits are first cobwebs, then cables." The
metaphor works well for "bad" habits. They first entice, and then
ensnare us like a cobweb. And if we continue in the behavior, the
web grows stronger and can be as difficult to break as a steel
cable.

But some habits can work in our favor. Such as patterns in the way
we live our lives. Or positive attitudes and healthy ways of
thinking. Our habitual attitudes and behaviors can either help us or
hinder us.

The truth is this: we form our habits, then our habits form us. So
we ought to pay attention to the habits we're forming.

Is there a behavior or attitude you would like to make into a habit?
Then reinforce it by repeating it at every opportunity. Is there a
something you wish to change? Then substitute a different attitude
or behavior and repeat the new one every chance you get.

When it comes to habits, practice may not make perfect. But practice
will certainly make permanent. Your habits will form you. So form
the habits you want and let them mold you into the person you want
to be.

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THE EASIEST WAY TO LEARN IN LIFE

Fresh pumpkins for sale - “Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later.”

A true story points to a universal truth about human beings: we learn
best by watching how others behave.

President Calvin Coolidge once invited friends from his hometown to
dine with him at the White House. Unsure of their table manners, the
guests decided to imitate the presi­dent. They watched closely to see
which utensils he used, what foods he ate and when.

Their strategy seemed to succeed until coffee was served. Coolidge
poured some coffee into his saucer. They did the same. He added sugar
and cream. His guests did, too. Then the president bent over and put
his saucer on the floor for the cat!

Like Coolidge's hometown guests, we, too, seem to learn best by
imitation. Kids learn by ob­serving parents when they are young, and
by copying their peers as they grow older. In fact, parents should
probably be less concerned about whether their children are paying
attention to them and more worried about the fact that their kids are
ALWAYS watching.

They tell us that adults learn in much the same way. If you're
struggling with your computer or want to learn to drive a car, you
will be more successful if you have someone show you how to do it. You
can always read the operator's manual and try to figure everything out
yourself, but you will learn best by watching others and asking
questions.

What if you want to become more self confident, to organize your life,
to be a better parent or to get along better with others? Again, we're
told that the best way to learn these skills and attitudes is to find
somebody who already is confident, or who is an effective parent or
who has healthy attitudes and then mimic the traits you want to adopt.
It is the easiest and quickest way to shape your life.

Just about ANY personality trait or skill can be learned: simply find
it in someone you know and copy it. Then watch what happens.

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