SECRETS OF STAYING IN LOVE FOR LIFE

Man dangerously walking on the side roof - “Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.”

The results are in. I have learned that, after careful consideration
and endless debate, The Perfect Man has finally been named: "Mr.
Potato Head." Let me tell you why. He's tan. He's cute. He knows the
importance of accessorizing. And if he looks at another girl, you
can rearrange his face.

I don't know if Mr. or Ms. Potato Head is right for you. But I'm not
a big believer in the idea that we MUST find a perfect match,
anyway. There are plenty of happy people who are not paired with
someone else. And there are also plenty who may not say they found
Mr. or Ms. Right, but are living quite happily with Mr. Almost Right
or Ms. Close Enough.

Marriage and long-term commitments may not be for everyone, but if
you plan to be with someone a long time, can you stay in love? Does
a lifetime relationship have to seem more like a life sentence? I
think we're tempted to believe that real love is a myth, a long-term
relationship is a marathon and romance is for kids. Are there
secrets to staying in love? Over the long haul?

I believe in love and romance, and I know it can last a lifetime. I
also believe there are a few simple things we can do to help our
love grow over the years.

For one thing, find time to date. I don't mean time to rehash the
stuff you talk about all week long. Get away and talk about things
that matter. Use this as time to focus on one another, not to solve
problems or to raise issues. There are other times to bring up
difficult subjects.

Next, understand what delights the other and make it happen. "The
romance is over," says Marlys Huffman, "when you see a rosebush and
start looking for aphids instead of picking a bouquet." What makes
him laugh? What brings her pleasure? And what can you do today to
delight each other?

Also, remember why you got together in the first place. When you
focus first on his faults you're not thinking about his strengths.
When you're busy pointing out her imperfections, you're not enjoying
those qualities that attracted you to her initially. Choose to
appreciate that which first drew you together and remember it often.

And always - plan enough time for fun. And don't always plan times
for fun -- be spontaneous. Laugh. Go places. Play.

A woman from Charleston, South Carolina was overheard to remark that
it was her 53rd wedding anniversary. When asked if she planned a
special celebration, she smiled and said softly, "When you have a
nice man, it really doesn't matter." I suspect they learned the
secrets of staying in love.

From Lifesupport

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