NUDGING WITHOUT NAGGING IN LIFE

Tin golfer trophy statue - “Book collecting is an obsession, an occupation, a disease, an addiction, a fascination, an absurdity, a fate. It is not a hobby. Those who do it must do it. Those who do not do it, think of it as a cousin of stamp collecting, a sister of the trophy cabinet, bastard of a sound bank account and a weak mind.”

We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her homework, or a spouse to complete his project, or a colleague to complain less and act more. How can we encourage without criticizing, berating or pushing too hard?

Here are three techniques that can help you nudge without nagging.

* Show appreciation.

Novelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about the extraordinary efficiency of his secretary. One day while visiting the publisher's office, Bennett asked her: "Your boss claims you're extremely efficient. What's your secret?"

"It's not my secret," said the assistant, "it's his." She went on to tell him that her boss always acknowledged and appreciated everything she did, regardless how insignificant. That was why she worked so hard for him. Her boss' appreciation nudged her toward constant improvement.

* If possible, keep it light-hearted.

The careful use of humor can work in any relationship where nudging may be required. One wife used it effectively when she found herself on the verge of nagging her husband to repair the lawn mower. He had promised to fix it, but the grass grew ever taller while he procrastinated.

Then one day he came home and found her seated on the ground snipping grass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched in amazement and then went into the house. When he returned, he handed her a toothbrush. "Honey," he said, "when you finish cutting the grass would you mind sweeping the sidewalks?"

They both laughed. And, more importantly, the mower was fixed.

* Be polite and respectful.

Sometimes it's more about how you say it than what you say. People respond best when they are respected and valued.

Elizabeth Harrison stated, "Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than criticize." Try these simple techniques next time you want to nudge without nagging.

From Lifesupport.

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